Modesty

Last month on the Caltrain, I looked around to find a seat where I wouldn't have to sit next to anyone. It was surprisingly packed for a Friday night, so I settled for sitting next to an older gentlemen... let's face it, even we feel a little more at ease sitting next to someone like that than a younger folk that looks more like us. He made an idle comment about the surroundings, and that kicked off an hour-long conversation.

He was on the Caltrain going back home to Millbrae from viewing the Leonardo Da Vinci exhibit that was on loan from Italy that his wife refused to accompany him to. The way he expressed his fascination with the inventions kind of reminded me of my Dad, just a little too curious for their own good but ultimately that's what got them to where they are. Now to the moral: I asked him what exactly he did, and he just replied that he was a doctor. Having seen a bunch of people study and take the MCATs recently, I asked him about them and the whole admissions process, to which he jokingly replied "Well.. I think I passed." I asked him where he practiced and went to school, and he said "Oh, in the area," and when I finally asked which school, he just curtly said "Stanford." Oookay then. But that was the twig that held the dam, as details came spilling forth after that: he went to UCLA on a full scholarship, shared ideas with a Nobel Prize winner in chemistry and had actually retired the day before as a successful clinical trials researcher.

Still, his show of modesty and the fact that he didn't feel like he needed to come outright and impress me made me admire him that much more. I'm sure he probably felt no need to show up a random 22 year old kid on the Caltrain and just wanted to go home to his semi-retirement, but I still think that behavior like that hints at deeper traits.

Let's put this is terms that are more applicable and relevant to us. You meet someone at a party, and within the first five minutes of talking to them, you discover that he lives to ski, only does triple diamond courses, and, for the hell of it, was in the Olympic trials. How would you react? "Oh, that's so cool!" but what's with the need for all the self-affirmation? Thanks for blowing your wad prematurely all over me. They already know it's cool, so what's that stank of? Maybe... a sense of identity that is tied up only in skiing, insecurity, a braggart and low confidence. Conversely, you meet someone at a party and they only bring up skiing when you mention it first. They say they're alright at it, and don't go into anymore detail. Then a mutual friend comes up and tells you that he was in the Olympic trials... Now who are you going to be more impressed by?

Anyway, I admire modesty and wish I had more of it.