Guess who's IQ is at least 118?

(Okay, a hint. It is not me, it is Chris Brown, the new Bobby Brown. Gj Eric. Read the ad carefully.)

So I Like Animals

I show some people just about everything that amuses me on the internet and they recently pointed out a trend - the majority of them are pictures of videos of animals doing stupid things. Here are a few.

How to break up a cat fight - watch until the very end.


The pet penguin - they trained him to wear a backpack and get fish at the fish market.


Monkey sniffs atomic finger


Lazy cat on treadmill


And a lesser degree of anthropomorphism.

Helluva Amazon Review

The Secret by Rhonda Byrne

"
Please allow me to share with you how "The Secret" changed my life and in a very real and substantive way allowed me to overcome a severe crisis in my personal life. It is well known that the premise of "The Secret" is the science of attracting the things in life that you desire and need and in removing from your life those things that you don't want. Before finding this book, I knew nothing of these principles, the process of positive visualization, and had actually engaged in reckless behaviors to the point of endangering my own life and wellbeing.

At age 36, I found myself in a medium security prison serving 3-5 years for destruction of government property and public intoxication. This was stiff punishment for drunkenly defecating in a mailbox but as the judge pointed out, this was my third conviction for the exact same crime. I obviously had an alcohol problem and a deep and intense disrespect for the postal system, but even more importantly I was ignoring the very fabric of our metaphysical reality and inviting destructive influences into my life.

My fourth day in prison was the first day that I was allowed in general population and while in the recreation yard I was approached by a prisoner named Marcus who calmly informed me that as a new prisoner I had been purchased by him for three packs of Winston cigarettes and 8 ounces of Pruno (prison wine). Marcus elaborated further that I could expect to be raped by him on a daily basis and that I had pretty eyes.

Needless to say, I was deeply shocked that my life had sunk to this level. Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic and dismayed by my overall personal street value of roughly $15. I returned to my cell and sat very quietly, searching myself for answers on how I could improve my life and distance myself from harmful outside influences. At that point, in what I consider to be a miraculous moment, my cell mate Jim Norton informed me that he knew about the Marcus situation and that he had something that could solve my problems. He handed me a copy of "The Secret". Normally I wouldn't have turned to a self help book to resolve such a severe and immediate threat but I literally didn't have any other available alternatives. I immediately opened the book and began to read.

The first few chapters deal with the essence of something called the "Law of Attraction" in which a primal universal force is available to us and can be harnessed for the betterment of our lives. The theoretical nature of the first few chapters wasn't exactly putting me at peace. In fact, I had never meditated and had great difficulty with closing out the chaotic noises of the prison and visualizing the positive changes that I so dearly needed. It was when I reached Chapter 6 "The Secret to Relationships" that I realized how this book could help me distance myself from Marcus and his negative intentions. Starting with chapter six there was a cavity carved into the book and in that cavity was a prison shiv. This particular shiv was a toothbrush with a handle that had been repeatedly melted and ground into a razor sharp point.

The next day in the exercise yard I carried "The Secret" with me and when Marcus approached me I opened the book and stabbed him in the neck. The next eight weeks in solitary confinement provided ample time to practice positive visualization and the 16 hours per day of absolute darkness made visualization about the only thing that I actually could do. I'm not sure that everybody's life will be changed in such a dramatic way by this book but I'm very thankful to have found it and will continue to recommend it heartily.
"

...Yes, this review was helpful to me.

The Perfect Warriors Game

Let me qualify this by saying that I'm a huge Golden State Warriors fan.... but the Warriors won last night and I'm pretty annoyed about that.

They've been having a season for the dumps (injuries, Monta getting hurt, trades, bad draft picks), which typically has one silver lining: a high draft pick. But by winning and getting a mediocre record, like the Warriors have a habit of doing, you do nothing for yourself and pretty much mire yourself to purgatory. Your team doesn't do well, and it doesn't really have a great chance at improving itself through the draft.

So my perfect Warriors game for this season has these elements:
-The younger players (especially Marco, Randolph and Morrow) getting plenty of run so they can contribute next year to when our core is better and healthy.
-An exciting game where we don't get blown out. For example, the Lakers game last week - it was high scoring and we were actually up in the 4th quarter, but we all knew it was inevitable that they would choke and end up losing by a hair. At least the Warriors are dependable in some regards.
-Monta shooting over 50% on his one ankle.
-Maggette doing well so we can showcase him to be traded.
-Most importantly, a nice check in the L column.

Things I've Always Wondered About

1. Why do people always slow down when they see a cop pulling someone over? It's not like he is going to suddenly jump into his car Dukes of Hazzard style and chase you down while writing a citation simultaneously.

2. What did Dr. Evil expect to do with his ransom money? It doesn't seem likely that anyone would do business with such a high-profile wanted criminal. Moreover, why wouldn't he just use his means to get the material things he wanted instead of going the circuitous route and getting money first?

3. Why when you ask someone what they're up to, the default answer is always "Nothing" or "Not much." And then they will proceed to tell you what they are up to.

4. Aren't we on the verge of potential destruction every second of the day? Suppose a nearby star suddenly goes supernova and expels its contents into a nebula that will encompass our solar system. Light traveling at light speed would inform us of the event (It only takes 8 minutes for light from our sun to reach earth), and the only lag time we would have for survival is how much slower the speed of radiation and contents expulsion is than light.

Okay, I was thinking about this one more: radiation actually does travel the speed of light because it's just an invisible part of the vision spectrum. So the question really is how damaging radiation would be by itself without its thermal or ionizing components. In any case, the window of survival just shrank considerably.

5. How my sense of direction can be so damn bad. (So's your face Sarah! jkkkk)

Bill Nye!

My favorite blogs to keep up with these days are popsci.com and wiredscience.com. I think this is because I spent most of undergrad studying things that are either completely unrelated or just completely boring.

Here's a few interesting articles from the past couple of days...

1. The Real Costs of Owning a Hybrid. Hybrids are great environmentally, but I think it's a complete fallacy that the savings in gas $ determines the bottom line to purchase them. This article talks about the unexpected costs that make buying a hybrid instead of a gas car a wash.

2. The Pitch Drop Experiment. This is an experiment that shows a substance so viscous that it's dripped only 9 times since 1930.

3. Monkey Uses Brainwaves to Control Prosthetic Arm. Shows how prosthetics have advanced in recent years to the point where electrodes on the motor cortex can stimulate accurate movement. "Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology."

4. Liberty University Disputing Evolution. Explains the rationale behind Liberty's choice to teach literal creationism - the world was created 10,000 years ago. Proponents of

“If a frog turns into a prince with a kiss then it’s a fairy tale. If a frog turns into a prince over millions of years, it’s science,” he said, referencing the theory of evolution. “It’s almost ridiculous.”

What is Pretty Woman telling us?

Does this movie say that...
A. Hollywood condones hooking
B. employing a hooker for a week is an acceptable thing to do
C. the only thing that matters is people's inner beauty
D. hookers have hearts of gold, try them out and find out
E. all that matters in a relationship is chemistry? (Which is something I subscribe to, but it's still a qualified statement whenever I say it. Servicing other men on a nightly basis might overshadow a little bit of chemistry.)

Yo, but on the real I've always felt some moral ambiguity about that movie.

5 more random thoughts

Okay, since I noticed that the posts on sunnyvalefitness.wordpress.com that I give creative and long names get 100x more hits than other posts, I'm going to actually start titling here. Besides, the other day I was trying to remember something I wrote a couple months ago and pretty much had to click through every post because of the stupid lazy titles.

My rainy day thoughts:

There's a black trainer at YMCA that I talk to a lot. Today I caught myself saying something like "Yo, I know I ain't never done nothin' like that before, you know what I'm sayin?" This must stop.

Some other co-workers at YMCA abbreviate "group exercise" to "group ex." Is that really necessary? Why not just "ex," "group?" Might as well call it this:

Why must there be peanuts in every single mixed nuts, fruit and nut mix and trail mix ever conceived?

I just bought 2 tubs of protein online. One is Cupcake Batter flavored and the other is Cinnamon Bun flavored. I really hope I win my gamble and they taste awesome, or else I'm going to have a very gross next 3 months.

So I really think The Office kind of sucks now. It took a Scrubs-esque tumble; all the characters became static and one-dimensional, and the humor became based on stupid setup situations rather than character development/interaction. Plus Jim + Pam is epically boring - let's have them attend a Phish concert with Creed, get high and let the chips fall where they may. Cartoons on the other hand usually seem to get better with seasons for some reason. (Minus the Simpsons... does anyone actually watch that anymore?)

Random 21 - 25

Because I used to be a really quiet kid, I often feel a need to make sure that my opinion is voiced and heard, which is probably annoying.

One of the things I always look for when I'm driving is dogs sticking their heads out of car windows.

I burned my garage down senior year of high school on accident. RIP Sentra #1.

I absolutely can't stand sugar-coating, so I don't do it and will pretty much always tell it like it is.

Every month or so, I get this urge to hermit myself and be all introspective and pensive, but then I get too bored.

Random 14 - 20

Sometimes I think in depth about the steps necessary to drop everything in my life here and just move to the midwest to farm grain for a simpler and possibly more fulfilling existence.

When I graduated high school, I was 140 lbs. By the beginning of my junior year in college, I was 172, and one summer later, I was back to 150, which I still am today.

I don't like celebrating my own birthday. Something about being the center of attention only out of obligation.

I have almost been arrested.. more than once.

I really, really hate being bad at things and subsequently failure. Sometimes I think the only reason I have any drive at all is to avoid that failure.

I wish my ego was smaller.

Whenever I'm applauding something, the # of claps always falls on a multiple of 7.

Random 7 - 13

Putting aside vanity, health, my job and any other reasons, a large part of why I workout as hard as I do is because I was overweight when I was a kid.

Punctuality is a big deal to me. It can usually be remedied by leaving for your destination just 5-10 minutes earlier, so why not do it? Are people not worth that? I view it as a lack of respect and common courtesy and thus always try to be early unless I'm trying to be fashionably late.

I'm most comfortable in bed when I have a pillow covering half of my face.

I use cocoa butter moisturizer for my hands after I shower everyday.

Whenever I'm bored in a library, I try to find the oldest book I can.

In junior high, I set 2-3 school track and field records until some coach dug up books from the late 80's and I was expunged from the record book.

I'm a good deal colorblind in the green spectrum.

Random 2 - 6

In more situations than I'd like to admit, I find myself thinking WWFPD? What Would the Fresh Prince Do?

My first kiss was an ambush in first grade when I was still in Pennsylvania.

I'm very OCD about cutting my fingernails.

I used to associate the color silver with feeling nauseous when I was younger. I think it only lasted for about 1-2 years, but when I looked at something silver, I would literally start feeling kind of queasy.

I still hold my breath whenever I go through tunnels.

Random 1

A nice little cop-out from longer posts is that vestige of junior high that's making the rounds on facebook... 25 random things about me.

1. Almost without fail, whenever I eat rice, one or two kernels gets lodged in my sinus cavity somewhere and I sniff uncomfortably for hours afterwards.

And in Anoop news, he made it through to the top 36!

Outsourced

When I first started this blog, I got maybe 15 hits a day and 5 were from myself. My gym just started a blog and it got 70 hits on it's 3rd day... So I plan on contributing pretty heavily to it. That will either drastically lower the amount of posts I put here, or put me in some kind of literary mode where I write like I got beat.

It's here http://sunnyvalefitness.wordpress.com/ and I write under the name korkie77 (remember my genie story from elementary school?).