Nots

EDIT: IT IS BETTER TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE NOT THAN WHAT YOU ARE.


I think I've come up with a good policy for evaluating and defining myself.

Instead of defining myself as a series of traits and qualities that I am, I think it's more accurate and productive to define myself as a series of 'nots.' Things I'm not, traits I don't possess, things I dislike.

I think the best example to clarify this with is relationships. My experiences have definitely showed me things I don't want in terms of circumstances, traits and quirks. Things that I know I wouldn't be able to stand or work around, deal-breakers perhaps. These are always easy to isolate and identify because they can stand alone and not be affected by other circumstances, so you can express your 'nots' with a constant accuracy. I try to steer clear of smokers, don't like long distance, and am not a big phone person; easy. Things I do like/want, however, aren't always so easily separated. I like showing affection and pet names; not very specific and always dependent on other factors.

Everyone searches for things that define us uniquely as individuals with passions, and I think the 'not' traits help towards that goal more. It is more descriptive to say that someone isn't X, Y and Z instead of saying that they only are X.

I guess the way I see me ultimately finding myself is through a gigantic process of elimination. I don't like hot weather? I don't like warm weather? I must like the cold. Repeat for all circumstances.

And now, a monkey enjoying a hot bath.